by Becky Kénaan
"Dear Becky Boop,
I am 30 years old and still happily single.
I went out on a second date the other night with this guy to go see a movie. Seemingly a nice man.
I like him...he seems very intelligent, articulate, polite, quick witted, fun to be with, and also very handsome. When the movie was over, we got back to his car. I was impressed with this guy because he actually opened the car door for me. Anyway, we left the theatre and headed back to my place. As he was driving me home, we started talking about our past relationships. He caught me off guard by then asking me about the last time I had sex with another man. I told him that I was not comfortable discussing that with him at the moment and we quickly went on to another subject.
We parked out front of my house then kissed and touched each other for sometime...But no sex. Afterwards, he walked me up to my doorstep and kissed me goodnight (then he left).
Sucking Face Only Please!
I got a nice text message from him the next morning telling me how much he enjoyed our date and was looking forward to seeing me again. It was a nice evening and all, but the question about sex he asked me still lingers in my mind about him.
Do you find this an appropriate question coming from a guy on only our second date out together? Am I looking at this question too seriously?
Signed, Not Too Desperate Maiden"
Dear Maiden,
Well...Just drop those panties on his doorstep, girl! LOL
Just Kidding! But just wait until he pops you with the question about how many men you have slept with.. OMG! I dread this part of the relationship! Please don't name names!!
Shhh!! And,certainly don't EVER tell him about that time after that wild party at your friend's place when they found you the next morning in the back of your car butt-naked with that strange tattoo on your right cheek!
Please disregard that paragraph and strike it out of your mind completely!!!
Also, please beware and take special note if he starts working on you with clever little comments like:
"I've never done it either...it can be our thing."
"Everyone's doing it...It's the 'in' thing."
"You won't have to worry about getting pregnant."
"It's how everyone dates in Europe, especially with models... Don't you want to do runways in Milan and Paris?"
Seriously though, for the typical hot-blooded male, looking at attractive female shapes and wanting to have sex is as natural as breathing.
And,in your girl brain if he doesn't make any other obnoxious comments that changes your feelings about him from "HOT" to "NOT" then take it to the next level if you have a sense that this guy is "Mr. Right" for you.
Opening the car door for you is a class act, btw. In all fairness to him, I don't want to read his signals the wrong way, but it is obviously clear to me that he definitely has a sexual interest in you.
Does this mean that he wants to jump on your bones like some sort of horny ape; or does he perhaps want to know who else you have been sleeping with recently? Certainly a guy can have different reasons for asking you this provocative question. Perhaps is he some kind of weird pervert without much etiquette... or maybe is he just being someone who wants an open and mature line of communication with you (and he is at that point where he feels comfortable asking you that).
If you both feel good about each other then look to the positive. I believe that he is probably looking at taking the relationship to the next natural level, and he is more likely seeking your feelings, values, and attitudes on sex since he may be thinking that the you both will eventually end up together as a couple.
This can be a healthy and mature discussion because I believe that he is interested in you for the two following reasons:
A) He wants to know your values on sex in a relationship - not just for the short term, but rather for the long term and;
B) Being attracted to you, he is likely curious and interested in having sex with you (sooner than later) and he wants to see how you feel about it.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that your relationship could be ruined by indulging and having sex with him too soon. He is obviously intelligent and he is most probably interested in you - so you should maintain your relationship but take it slow. Kissing and touching is acceptable for a while. You will know when it is right for you. Time is what is most important now, since he will respect you more and know/realize that you are special. Besides, just remember that there can be somewhat of an anticlimax in getting to better know each other after you’ve already had sex.
So get to know each other better first... AND tell him up front now that you are very attracted to him BUT you really want to know him as a person first and love him for that person before giving yourself away. If he is truly interested in you for the long term, he will appreciate your thoughtfulness (now that you have had time to think about his question).
Even though you are both hot and eager with so much sexual tension building, it is actually better if you both don’t start getting naked perhaps until after the third or fourth possible date. You certainly don't want him to look at you as nothing more than a piece of meat, so keeping your panties on for a while could be good for you both for your future.
Waiting a while longer is also important because it gives you something both to look forward to. If the main prize for him is to have sex with you right away, then you’re starting the process backward. It’s quite an anticlimax to get to know each other after you’ve already had sex.
And, like I said, if he is interested in pursuing a relationship with you, it’s probably in your best interests for the both of you (in the short term) to take separate, cold Showers!
Sincerely,
Becky Da' Boop
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